I have to admit. This is on a whole new level. Something different from what i've had been through. Yet i'm sure that this will be an experience that will linger. Things are blurry as of now. But it will be better won't it? This is the 1st time it involves friends and families. Lies and deceptions. To be honest, she's the 1st who made me feel this way. Am i scared? Am i paranoid? Am i jealous? Am i petty? These are new to me.

These are just baby steps of seriousness. It always made me ponder. Will it be this way when we settled down? I'm excited; yet afraid of what's to come. Silly me. All this while, everything has been revolving around my world. Just like my family. Our lives revolves around the very foundation of this stronghold. My father. His dreams are ours. His aspirations and prospects are ours to share.

As it goes on, i realise, i'm not better than him. In fact i'm just like him. I always tell others, i wish to be like him. Without realising it, i am him. Every aspect of me is him. His temperamental nature, his food choice, his methods of achieving something, ready to make decisions and characters. I inherited every single of it.

Mom had told me of stories that he dislikes going out with her friends. He dislikes crowded places. He prefers to be with his family and his circle of friends. And she lived with it for over years. She said he's a family man, and that's all that matters.

As for me, i intend to keep it that way. I have always been a solitary cloud. My friends and family are my personal pride. She has to accept the fact that this is how i have chose to lived my life. Hate me. Love me. My world doesn't revolves around wealth or status. It revolves around pride and will to move forward. We carve our own future. I don't care what others have done. What others have achieved. What others have been through. They don't benefit me.

Pain and disappointment comes only when you feel it for yourself. To judge one is only the job of god himself. We're just on borrowed time on earth. I rather make full use of it to achieve personal glory. This selfish and egoistic nature of mine was critically critisised by some. Yet, least they know it has made me come this far. I come to realise that we have to give and take. And i come to accept others as they are.

But there are things which i wish to work on. My unavoidable temper & sarcasms. Prior to that, I have nothing to prove. This is me. This is the Fadli that i have been all this while. Forgive me if i hurt any.

To my lil noob brother, here's the quiz that you made me do.

Rules and regulation of the tag;
All 21 people must do unless you don't have a blog.
Write the names of 16 friends you can think of in your head.
And then answer the questions,
Say you're guessing if you don't know,
But at least guess on all of them.
1. Yenn Alexis
2. Syed Hashim
3. Farhan S.
4. Danial Noordin
5. Shan Kasmeir
6. Pirakaash C.
7. Hidzir Tawin
8. Tarmizi Ismail
9. Ismail Rostam
10. Lin Hui Hui
11. Hairinizam Khamis
12. Timothy Isaac
13. Yam Shi Jie Eric
14. Lee Yik Loong
15. Farhan
16. Naser
17. Violet Leong
18. Sheila
19. Hafiz Kamal
20. Suraya

After doing this,tag your 20 unlucky friends to do the same.
1. How did you meet 7?
-Hidzir? We've been mates since 2001. Classmates and part of the COT ever since.
2. What would you do if you and 15 had never met?
-Farhan? Well i could say that my ITE life won't be complete without him.
3. What would you do if 20 and 1 dated?
-Suraya & Yenn Alexis? Well i don't see anything wrong. They might end up bitching about me.
4. Have you seen 17 cried?
-Violet Leong? Yes.
5. Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
-Danial Noordin & Naser? No. They ain't gays. Even if they are, they are polar opposites.
6. Do you think 11 is attractive?
-Hairinizam? In his own ways yes.
7. What is 2's favourite colour?
-Syed Hashim? he can't make a diff with colors.
8. When was the last time you talked to 9?
-Ismail Rostam? A week back?
9. What language does 8 speaks?
-Tarmizi Ismail? He can speak lots i guess.
10. Who is 13 going out with?
-Yam Shi Jie Eric? How I know?!
11. Would you ever date 17?
-Violet Leong? It's all memories.
12. Where does 18 live?
-Sheila? Singapore. To be precise, west side.
13. What is the best thing about 4?
-Danial Noordin? He's always have a clear mind what's ahead of him. A good decision maker.
14. What would you like to tell 10 right now?
-Lin Hui Hui? Fuck off bitch.
15. What is the best thing about 20?
-Suraya? She likes to treat her favour cousin to dinner dates.
16.Have you ever kiss 2?
-Syed Hashim? He isn't a gay.
17. What is the best memory you have of 5?
-Shan Kasmeir? The times we fought over shared locker.
18.When's the next time you're going to see 4?
-Danial Noordin? When he booked out i guess.
19.How is 7 different from 6 ?
-Pirakaash C. & Hidzir Tawin? An Indian and a thai. What's next?
20. Is 2 pretty?
-Syed Hashim? He's a hustler. Not another Paris Hilton.
21. What was your 1st impression of 15?
-Farhan? He's a quiet lad. Can't say much for 1st impression.
22. How did you meet 3?
-Same as Hidzir Tawin. COT babeh.
23. Is 15 your best friend?
-Farhan? In ITE. kinda one of them.
24. Do you hate 12?
-Timothy Isaac? NO. Fucking no. He was the one whom introduce me to the world of computer.
25.Have you seen 18 in the last month ?
-Sheila? It's been 2 years since i last saw.
26. When was the last time you saw 16?
-Naser? A year ago.
27. Have you been to 5's house?
-Shan Kasmeir? Nope. He doesn't want to invite us over.
28. When's the next time you'll see 10?
-Lin Hui Hui? Depends on when she wanna ask for smoke break.
29. Are you close to 11?
-Hairinizam? We're buddies that like to go photohunting.
30. Have you been to the movies with 4?
-Danial Noordin? yes of course.
31. Have you gotten in trouble with 8?
-Tarmizi Ismail? Yes. During our secondary school days.
32. Would you give 19 a hug?
-Hafiz Kamal? He's my cousin. A handshake will do.
33. When have you lied to 3?
-Farhan S.? Yet to.
34. Is 11 good at socializing?
-Hairinizam Khamis? I'm not sure. He's a quite lad by nature.
35. Do you know a secret about 8?
-Tarmizi Ismail? Not that i know off.
36. Describe the relationship between 12 and 18.
-Timothy Isaac & Sheila? They don't know each other for nuts.
37. What's the best thing about your friendship with 9?
-Ismail Rostam? He cracks jokes.
38. What's the worst thing about 6?
-Pirakaash C? He's always LATE for meetup.
39. Have you every had a crush on 12?
-Timothy Isaac? NO. I'm straight.
40. How long have you known 2?
-Syed Hashim? Going 9 years.
41. Does 11 have any girlfriend / boyfriend?
-Hairinizam Khamis? The last time i met him yeah. Now no idea.
42. Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face?
-Yenn Alexis? At times. When she start to hurt herself.
43. Has 20 meet your parents ?
-Suraya? Of course. She's my cousin.
44. How did you meet 11?
-Hairinizam? Same as Hidzir Tawin & Farhan.
45. Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3?
-Farhan S.? Never did anything close to that.
46. Do you live close to 7?
-Hidzir Tawin? Yeah. Kinda. Marsiling & Woodlands.
47. What is 8's favourite food?
-Tarmizi Ismail? NO IDEA!
48.What kind of car does 1 have?
-Yenn Alexis? Cars that belong to her sister and father.
49. Have you travelled anywhere with 9?
-Ismail Rostam? I can say all over Singapore.
50. If you give 14 a $100, What would she / he spend it on?
-Lee Yik Loong? I guess new set of headphones. He can ejaculate to the thought of it. HAHAHA.

Out.