Its friday again, a day which I dread going to school for, yet a day that marks the start of my weekends. Im worried that I would be debarred from other core modules, but i suddenly lost it all, lost my motivation to strive and work hard. Part of me still wants to do it, the other part of me is comtemplating.

Recent events has caused me to sway tremendously and it keeps me at such that I find it hard to believe these are happening, I've always believed that if I put in my effort and my love, things will go on smoothly and I will be able to reap what I sowed. Unfortunately, things went the other way. I am very certain that I did not do anything to deserve to be treated that way in the past, and because I was treated like this before, the more I shouldnt allow myself to let that happen to me again. It wasnt as if you were unaware of how I was treated, yet you went along with it and did the same things that someone else did to me before. Wheres the logic? Wheres the love you claimed you have for me when you decided to hurt me despite knowing I was once hurt the same way?

I let things go your way, from an inch to a yard. You wanted more, you wanted everything of me. Which was going to eat me from the inside, it wasnt that much of the painful feeling, it was saddening to know of such behaviour your showed. From day 1, you already had prejudice against my friends that you have yet to even meet. Till as days went by, you disliked hanging around with them, giving reasons " we are of different worlds, lifestyles and social habits, etc." Eventually, you were finding all sorts of things to pick on me about me hanging out with my friends, being unhappy when I said I wanted to go out with them. When it comes to your friends, I have never uttered a single unhappiness to meeting them, I didnt judge any of them.

When things dont go well, I would tend to ask more questions than usual, yet each time you would just flare up at me for asking too many questions, have I ever did the same to you? Even when times that you said hurtful things to me, which was very insulting and humiliating to a girl, let alone, your girlfriend, did you consider about my feelings? Have I not put that aside after the first insult, the second humiliation and till my last straw of the third tarnishing of my reputation in front for your very own family? Was what I asked from you too difficult and too much? Did I rant about your past and bring it up and compare what you did for her with what you did for me?

You stepped on my integrity, you took advantage of my love, you have tested my level of tolerance and you have pushed me to the limit. Yet low and behold, I still loved and cared for you as my love, as the man of my life.

And now, all has been a mess. I have lost interest in many things. Lastly, you can go ahead and believe/listen to/heed advises from, your outside friends. Whom I did not even know of, whom are not virtual, whom you trusted instead of your other solid friendships and myself. This is how naive you wanna be, carry on, seek refuge from those pathetic, fool-liked outside friends who only knows how to hide behind the screen. If they are suck big fucks, get them out and ask them to lay out all proofs and evidences of whatever they have spoken about me and my friends. Cant believe you had the cheek to tell your friends you dont trust them.

As usual, I dont wanna go to school tomorrow. Seems like the was has just begun.